The Final Posting

I’m sorry to report that in the end, my Grandpa did not have the opportunity to choose between chemo and nature. At 1:30 on the morning of October 17, with my Grandma holding his hand and clinging to his arm, he peacefully succumbed to complications from the disease that has plagued him for nearly a year and half.

On his final Saturday, Grandpa went mushroom hunting in the forest that he loved with Grandma and their friend Don Shaffer. The next day on the way back to Seattle, he enjoyed a bowl of chili at one of his favorite restaurants, the Ranch House Barbeque in Olympia. Don suggested that they go directly to the hospital from there but Grandpa wanted to give it one more night. Late Monday morning, Grandma and daughter Leah took him to the ER (with a requested stop by the chiropractor’s for an adjustment) and he was admitted on Monday afternoon. The diagnosis was another stroke, this time affecting his right side. On Tuesday his left lung had collapsed and his strokes continued, but he was still able to answer his own phone. By Wednesday, the heart that has fought tachycardia for more than a year finally began to give in and he began to suffer the symptoms of a heart attack. That evening, he could no longer see or speak. By Thursday, Grandpa was communicating in a “yes,” “no” fashion by moving one of his feet and began to actually suffer heart attacks that afternoon. He had his daughters, Leah and Alicia, there to sooth him with the very songs he sang to them when they were young. Dr. West told Grandma and my cousin Conor that the strokes had become overwhelming, and while we could hope for a miracle, it was time to make him comfortable. Dr. West also reminded them that the one thing he had learned from Grandpa was that quality of life was the most important thing to him. As his final Friday dawned, John Musgrave, Renaissance man, loving husband, father of five, grandfather of twelve, great grandfather of seven, and friend of many passed away surrounded in presence and in spirit by those who loved him.

It is not surprising to me that my grandfather was able to fight cancer with such a positive attitude. My Grandpa passionately loved living and was a very competitive man, and he was also blessed by a team of doctors that we are sure is unparalleled. From my Grandma (and all of us), “Our family would like to thank all of the staff at Swedish Medical Center and Swedish Cancer Institute, his primary care physician Timothy Johnson, his cardiologist Matthew Voorsanger, his caregiver Carrington, the doctors and nurses at Swedish/Providence Cherry Hill Hospital who cared for him during his last few days and hours, and especially his oncologist Dr. Howard (Jack) West, and Ruth and Bernadine. John was proud to call Dr. West his oncologist and thought the world of him. Dr. West helped guide us through the last year and a half with just the right touch of humor and advice.” Personally I would like to thank Doctor West for permitting Grandpa to come to my wedding immediately after a chemo treatment – risky, but thankfully along the lines of what grandpa considered to be living, rather that merely life. I would also like to thank the staff at St. Mary’s in San Francisco where Grandpa was initially treated for his first stroke – thank you for helping him to heal and for keeping him there long enough that Conor, Alison, Balazs and I were able to spend time with him and give him ice cream in the final stretch.

A memorial service will be held on November 8 from 1-4pm at Hotel Andra in Belltown, just north of downtown Seattle. Anyone who was touched by my Grandpa is welcome to celebrate his life with us, and to help us remember him as he was – a profound and amazing man who all of us are better for having known. In lieu of flowers we will be making a contribution to the Seattle Statue of Liberty Plaza Park on Alki to honor Grandpa and to provide funds for the current renovation and future maintenance of the park. Please email johnmusgravememorial@gmail.com if you would like to contribute memories or funds for this project.

On to the next journey…

John Robert Musgrave

John Robert Musgrave lived his life to the fullest and his absence will be felt by many. He passed away on October 17 in Seattle after complications from lung cancer. He will be sorely missed for his wise counsel, his wonderful sense of humor, and of course his excellent cooking.

The devoted family man, mentor, and friend eclipsed the description "renaissance man" as evidenced by success in his careers and many hobbies. Anything worth doing, he believed, was worth putting in your all.

John was born in Kansas City, Kansas on January 23, 1934 and grew up in Concordia, Missouri as a Southern Baptist Minister's son. He was student body president, basketball star, homecoming king, and his beautifully deep voice resonated in multiple singing groups. John graduated at the top of his class from the University of Missouri Journalism School. His first job was as a newspaper reporter in Blytheville, Arkansas where he found himself in the thick of the Little Rock segregation era.

His talents at basketball earned him a spot on the Boeing semi-pro team in Wichita, KS, and a job as a reporter on the company paper launched his career into marketing. Boeing ultimately sent John to Seattle where he published the company-wide Boeing newspaper and discovered his little piece of heaven on earth. After several years, Boeing transferred him to head up the Marketing Department of the Vertol division in Philadelphia where he traveled the world promoting their helicopters.

In 1971, he left Boeing to work for the Auerbach Corporation, one of the world's first computer companies, in Philadelphia. In late 1973, he was approached by an executive search firm to consider going to Spokane, Washington to help the floundering World's Fair. Seeing it as an incredible challenge and also a way to return to his beloved Washington, he took the job and moved his family to Spokane. His role as Vice President of Marketing in charge of public and press relations, publicity and ticketing helped Expo 74 open on schedule and its success transformed the city.

In 1975, he started his own public relations firm, JRM & Associates, Inc., where he was involved in events such as managing trade shows and major events such as the World Swimming Championships in Guayaquil, Ecuador. His company also started Ticketmaster in the Seattle area. One of the responsibilities he took on during that time was as Vice President of Marketing for the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid, NY where he was responsible for marketing, publicity, public relations and all revenue, including licensed products, ticketing and television rights. It was an experience of a lifetime.

In the early 1980s, John moved back to Seattle and was very active in the West Seattle community. He served as President of the West Seattle Chamber and as a member of the noise reduction committee for the 3rd runway at SeaTac Airport, the city-wide Alaskan Way Viaduct Committee, and the transportation committee, which helped plan the high level bridge, the Spokane street viaduct expansion, and the low level bridge replacement He helped start Greater Harbor 2000, a community based organization that created a new corridor plan for the Alki, Harbor Avenue, Spokane Street corridor, and served on the oversight committee that worked on plans for Pier 1/Pier 2, including the experimental water taxi.

His professional life for the last 25 included many facets of the real estate world, including selling residential real estate, brokering the West Seattle office of Coldwell Banker, and for the last 15 years as Executive Business Consultant for Coldwell Banker Corporate with responsibilities for all of the affiliate offices in Washington State, Alaska and Portland, OR.

While excelling in his professional life, John also spent his time on his many hobbies. His passions included wine collecting, mushroom picking, traveling, hiking, go-carting, fishing, and, most importantly, cooking. He spent much time racing and fixing cars with his grandson, Conor.

We all hope we can live up to John's decency, honesty and love of living. He was a tall, proud "John Wayne" kind of man who has touched so many lives.

John is survived by his wife of 29 years, Colleen; five daughters: Mary Rosner (Mike), Jeanine Hopping (Mack), Jacque Musgrave, Alicia Thompson (Ken) and Leah Applewhite; 12 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. He also leaves behind the mother of his children, Jan Musgrave Zwetsch (Gil), who has been a great supporter of John throughout their lives, his brother Jim (Jan), and his sisters Delcie Wakefield (Bill) and Ruth Smith, as well as numerous nieces and nephews and friends.
A celebration of his life will be held from 1-4pm, Nov. 8 at Hotel Andra, 2000 Fourth Ave, Seattle. In lieu of flowers, donations are being accepted to honor him at the Statue of Liberty Plaza at Alki Beach and to support the Plaza maintenance fund. More info at John's blog http://mussmusings.blogspot.com.

NOT SO GOOD NEWS

My CT scan yesterday showed a worsening of my condition. Other tests showed thar my oxygen absorption rate has fallen to 80 which is very low. So, the doctor put me on oxegen.It is a bit of a pain to haul around, but does make me feel better. It has not however alleviated the severe shortness of breath we have been experiencing the last few days. The Tarceva was obviously doing no good so we are stopping that. Since that drug causes shortness of breath I am hoping that condition will improve. I have a couple of choices now. Give chemo another try or do nothing and let nature take its course. I'll let you know what I decide.

NOT MUCH NEW TO REPORT

The political scene has been interesting so that has kept me occupied. I think I am becoming a news wonk. Like everyone else I suspect I view everything through my own narrow lens, but I think it is interesting to watch people supposedly intelligent enough to be called experts differ completely on their analysis depending on whether they have a D or an R behind their name. The subject doesn't seem to make any difference. If the Ds say one thing the Rs will take the opposite point of view and vice versa. It makes you think that there is very little independent thought going on these days. It will probably come as a surprise to no one that I am supporting the Obama/Biden ticket. I truly believe we need a fresh approach to things and I believe those two will give us that. I wish everyone would join me in that choice, but then, I guess that is just my narrow point of view. I have been having a lot of trouble with fatigue the last couple of days. Of couse Afib, lung cancer, amiodarone and tarceva all have fatigue as side effects so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I have another CTscan next Wednesday so will let you know how that goes.

UPDATE

My visit to the doctor today was uneventful. We did a blood test, but the results weren't back yet so we didn't learn anything from that. The main purpose of the visit was to assess how I am doing with Tarceva. So far I am having very minor side effects. So the next question is whether the medicine is doing any good. We will have another CTscan on Oct. 8 to see if the medicine is working. If it is we will continue to take it. I will keep you posted.

GOOD NEWS

Our visit to the doctor today was quite encouraging. The cancer continues to show no sign of growth. In fact the doc says it has actually reduced to a small degee. He is recommending that I start on a drug called Tarceva. It is a once a day pill that is designed to keep the cancer from growing. So we will give it a try. There are some potential side effects, but the doc doesn't think they will be too severe. If that turns out to be true we will keep taking it. If not we can stop taking it. I'll be seeing the doc again in two weeks to assess results. I'll keep you informed.

PROGRESS

comes slowly, but we are making progress. Physically
I am doing quite well, gaining strength and walking a mile a day. My hands are still a problem, but they are getting better. I am just impatient and want it to be quicker. I am sure that I will recover fully from the effects of the stroke. The wild card in all of this is the cancer. We will find out more about that tomorrow as I am scheduled for another CTScan. Our hope is that the cancer will still be showing no sign of progression. I will post again tomorrow and let you know where we stand.

Home Sweet Home

Sorry for the absence of posts lately, but my hands are still not working very well so this will be short. Being home is really nice and I think I am making good progress with my rehabilitation. Both a physical and occupational therapist are coming to the house once a week. They have given me a rigorous regimen of exercises and my caregiver sees to it that I stick to the schedule. I also walk every day and am up a quarter of a mile. I use a cane while walking and occasionally use my walker in the house, but I am doing more and more unaided. Well that's all I can handle for now, but will try to do better as things progress.

More Adventures

Much has happened since my last post. I am in the hospital in San Francisco having come here to have a nice vacation with my grandson and my granddaughter. Good plans don't always work out and in this case I had a stroke sometime Saturday night and have been pretty much unable to do much of anything since. However, we are fighting the good fight, we're in rehab, and I think some progress is being made.
I'm hoping to be able to go home early next week and to continue rehab in Seattle since all of my doctors are there. My personal belief is you always heal better at home and I've got to believe I will be more comfortable around things with which I am familiar, so we will see how it all goes and we'll try to keep you posted.
This post is being sent to you thanks to the services of my granddaughter, Sarah, as it's impossible for me at this point to type. So, we'll be in touch.

NEWS

No news is good news is an old adage, but some news is not always bad, nor is it always good. Sometimes it’s somewhere in between. My new news is somewhere in between or as my oncologist put it I have gone from “too good to be true” to “not so bad.”. The CT scan done Tuesday showed a large pleural effusion (fluid) on the left lung and the cancer is showing some activity. Nothing terribly alarming, but it is there. The fluid was causing some serious breathlessness so I had that drained this morning, We got about two and one-half liters. So I am feeling much better and when the lung adjusts, it usually takes a day, I will be feeling fine again and will be able to breath normally. We have two choices. Wait awhile and see if the cancer and fluid build up continue. In that scenario I would have checkups every three weeks. The other choice is to go back on chemo with the hope that we can get back to “too good to be true.” My choice is the go back on chemo and nip this in the bud if we can. We will taking a smaller dose of Alimta than we did the last time and the hope is that I will be able to tolerate it and that it will do as good a job on the cancer as it did the last time. The first treatment will be in two weeks. If the chemo has adverse effects to the point that I can’t function normally then we’ll make another decision. None of this is particularly surprising, Cancers were born to grow and I knew that at some point we would have to fight this thing again. So, we will. I am disappointed, but not bummed. I know I will continue to have all of the great support and positive thoughts that I have had in the past and you can’t know how much I appreciate that

ON TO THE FUTURE

The lack of postings over the last several weeks sh0uld serve as a good indicator that things are going well. I am fully recovered from the fall and I am feeling great. I will go in for another CT scan this coming Tuesday and we are hoping that it will yield a good result. I am still working with the
Afib problem, but it seems to be much better now. I don't know if I mentioned it in previous posts, but I have also been diagnosed with diabetes so I am taking insulin.

I have gone back to work and have been doing some traveling. Other than some fatigue I have been getting along just fine.

With my health problems pretty much under control I will have to find other things to talk about. Politics seems like a good place to start. Now that Obama has the Demo side wrapped up we'll begin the real race. I have misgivings about both candidates. How do you feel?

UPDATE

I am rapidly recovering from the effects of my fall. There is still some soreness in my legs, but the pain is pretty much gone from my ribs. I had been curious why my legs had been so badly bruised because I didn’t think they had been directly involved in the fall. My doctor tells me that the bruises are caused by the blood from the internal bleeding settling in my legs. Good old gravity at work. Nonetheless is was quite painful and I am very grateful that I am now much more comfortable and able to get around without grimacing. The really good news is that I had an appointment with my oncologist on Tuesday and the cancer in my lung is essentially gone and there is no sign of growth. Because of the fall and the issues with my heart my doctor said, “I am not used to having one of my patients whose cancer is the third or fourth most serious thing they have to deal with.” So that part is really good and if I can stay away from any new setbacks I will be in great shape.

EXPLANATION

The bruises you see in the previous post are on my legs. That has been and still is quite painful but not life threatening. The big problem was the bruised liver which I was not able to take a picture of. However, if the bruises were this bad on my legs you can only imagine what trauma my liver suffered. So, I am a lucky puppy that everything is healing properly.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION

You all know about the fall but I thought you might like to see my bruises and also see that life in the hospital isn't all that bad. There is always someone around fussing over you and getting you whatever you want. The downside of that it is a difficult to get any sustained sleep when you are being awakened every two hours for meds, checking life signs or, it sometimes seems, just waking you up for the fun of it. Another downside is that the food is not that exciting. I am home now and the care here is just as good as the hospital and it's a lot more comfortable being in familiar surroundings. My daughter Jeanine is here doing yeoman service and appropriately babying me. It's working because I am feeling a lot better, the pain is subsiding, my bodily functions are operating properly, I have a good appetite and my balance is better, although I am using a walker just to be safe. So, I am on the mend and expect to improve every day.

TWO FORWARD, ONE BACK

Somewhat better than one forward and two back, none the less it is somewhat frustrating to get a set back at this point when we were feeling so good, exercising and in general getting back to normal. But now I am in the hospital trying to recover from a bad fall that I experienced two weeks ago this coming Sunday. At first we thought the fall was not too bad but the bruises began to appear and the soreness was progressively worse. So I went to my GP a week ago yesterday and it was his judgement that I had bruised ribs so prescribed some pain medicine and sent me home. Our fear, of course, was that I had some internal injuries. I have been on a heavy dose of blood thinners, so internal bleeding could be very critical. However, the x-ray and the doctor’s examination seemed to indicate that I had not suffered any internal damage. The soreness continued to get worse so in the middle of the night this past Thursday the pain became intolerable and I was convinced that I had something much more serious than bruised ribs so we went to the ER. I had every kind of test you can imagine, a chest scan, a tummy scan, a brain scan and blood tests. The upshot is that I have a severely bruised liver that has bled some. We think the active bleeding has stopped, but my blood count is quite low. At the moment we are observing. Surgery is still a possibility but we are hoping that won’t be necessary.The blood count will be the determining factor. I am having blood transfusions so if we can get the blood count under control we can avoid surgery. So quite the adventure. It’s 2 p.m. on Saturday as I write this so I should have some news in the morning

UPDATE

Not a lot new to report other than that I am feeling good, have gone back to work on a somewhat limited basis and in general am getting life back to normal. Let's hope it can stay that way, at least for awhile. I have slowly gotten used to the mask. I kept it on one night for a total of seven hours which is the record. Usually I can handle it for about four hours and then my nose and face start to itch and I have to take it off. I don't know if it is doing any good or not and I guess I will have to have another all night sleep test to find out. I'll let you know. The heart situation is a pain in the neck and the drugs are really a drag. I want to get off of them ASAP. I meet with the cardiologist one week from today.

UPDATE

Well, once again the doctor decided that my blood is too thick and prone to clotting to safely do the shock treatment so we are still where we were. I am not sure what comes next. I have been on blood thinner for a long time so don't how or when my blood might get thinner. I will be talking to the doc tomorrow and if I learn anything new I will post the information.

UPDATE

The transesophageal echocardiogram will take place at 1 p.m. Wednesday and if all goes well the zap will follow.

UPDATE

I met with my cardiologist yesterday and we have scheduled a transesophageal echocardiogram for either Tuesday or Wednesday next week. I will update this when I know for sure which day the procedure will take place. If everything looks good they will then give me the shock treatment to get my heart back in rhythm. That’s really the only new thing to report. I am feeling good, walking everyday, except when doctors’ appointments get in the way, and in general doing well.

NO PROGRESSION!

NO PROGRESSION

The good news yesterday was that my CT scan showed there has been no progression of my lung cancer and the amount of cancer is “very little” according to my doctor. By the way, I don’t know that I have talked much about my doctor in these posts, but in my mind he ranks right up there with the great people I have met during my life. His skill, knowledge and practical approach to medicine are quite impressive. I have included a link to his blog, Onctalk, on my blog and recommend that if you haven’t already done so you should give it a look.

Now don’t get the idea that we have fashioned a “cure”. I still have the cancer, it could start growing again at any time, or it could metastasize to some other part of my body. We are going to maintain an every six weeks monitoring schedule to check its progress. For now, I’m going to enjoy the relief from treatment. Hopefully I will get my heart situation (see previous post "So We Will Wait Awhile) straightened out in the next couple of weeks and when that happens I will be able to get back to exercising and regaining my strength.

MASK REPORT

Several of you have asked about the mask. I have tried it now for the last two nights. The first night I did fall asleep with it and woke up after an hour with a bit of a cough. A cough doesn’t work too well with the mask so I abandoned it and slept pretty well the rest of the night except I think apprehension related to the upcoming CT scan the next day hampered my sleep. Last night, relieved by the scan report, I slept for two hours with the mask. I’m not quite sure why I wanted to get rid of it at that point but I did and I slept really great the rest of the night. So we will keep trying.